It’s been the one thing that has been keeping the separation from progressing into a full divorce. The house. Way back when we decided to build the house, my name was the only one that went on the mortgage. We felt that her student loans might impact the bank’s decision, and opted to have me go at it solo. The deed to the house was in both names, so it belonged to both… but the financial responsibility lay solely with me. The bank thought that was a little strange, but that’s fine. We did what we felt we had to do, and never even considered that there might be a time when all was not blissful in married-land.
Fast forward a few years, and we have the current reality. A mortgage with my name solely tattooed to it, for a house that I no longer live in. Our attempts to have it transfered to her were met with laughter from the banking institution. In the years since I successfully applied for that mortgage there have been several financial setbacks. While the bank was happy to continue accepting my biweekly payments, the risks of having it transfered were simply too great. Let’s be honest, I am 100% positive that if I was to get out of this mortgage, and apply for the exact same one tomorrow, I would not qualify. As long as I continue to pay on an existing one, great. But that will be the last mortgage I’m able to qualify for, for quite some time.
More than one person expressed disbelief that I would continue to carry a mortgage for a house I was no longer living in, for as long as I have. It’s easy to see a separation/divorce in a negative light. We chose not to. The situation was not ideal, but we chose to work through it… if not for the children, then at least for our friendship. I’m sure that I could have pressed the point, and forced a decision on the house much sooner. But to what end?
She’s put a lot of work into the house over the last year. Ideally it would have been nice to have had it ready to go on the market in the spring, but that didn’t happen. Better late, than never.
So now the papers are signed. I have no idea what the housing market is like. I have no idea whether the house will sell quickly, or at all. My hope is that it does go quickly, if only so the children are not disrupted through the school year. It would be nice if they were able to move into their new home during the summer, especially if it requires changing schools.
And there’s the next problem for me. This is the only home that they have ever known, and despite its imperfections, it is home. They’re young, so they think of moving as a big adventure. But I have to wonder if it will wear off. I know that they won’t be going into a house right away. I hope that wherever they end up, they’re happy.
And once the house issue is finally settled once and for all… I guess that there’s nothing holding us back from signing the next set of papers…