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Monthly Archives: July 2014

Cards Against Humanity: Discover How Horrible Your Friends REALLY Are!

Published July 23, 2014 - 3 Comments

What is Batman’s Guilty Pleasure?

I’ve heard some people compare Cards Against Humanity  to the game of Apples to Apples… only for really bad people!  That comparison is lost on me, as I’ve never even heard of Apple to Apples but a quick look in Wikipedia shows me that there are some similarities.  Except for the really bad part.  Seriously, if you think I’m joking… I’m not!

The idea behind Cards Against Humanity is simple:  One person has a deck of black cards with questions on them.  The other players are each dealt 10 random white cards.  These are the answer cards.  The card czar (initially determined by who last pooped, btw!) draws a random question card, and each of the other players submit whatever white card they feel makes the best answer.  The card czar then chooses the best one, and that person gets a point.  Do whatever you want with the points because it’s not really who wins… but whether or not you can look people in the eye after a game of Cards Against Humanity!

This game is for adults, but that doesn’t mean that every adult is going to enjoy it.  If you’re squeamish about off-colour jokes or don’t want to imagine your grandmother naked, tentacle porn, or two midgets shitting in a bucket… well… Cards Against Humanity might not be for you.

Why is Mommy crying?

Why is Mommy crying?

But if you’re like a lot of us, then you will probably laugh so uncontrollably hard that tears flow, your gut hurts, and you begin to question your own humanity.  And hey, you might even learn something!  More than a few times we had to stop and look up something because it was a term we were unfamiliar with.  (Queefing = uncontrollable release of air from the vagina after the penis is removed during sex = pussy farts!  Who knew?!)  And if you think that it’s all just a bunch of naughty words, well there’s more to it than that.  Sometimes the most random card wins the round.  Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine?  Got it.  Passive aggressive Post-it Notes?  Been there!  Cuddling?  Awwwww…  It really does take all kinds, and it’s up to the card czar to decide which answer is the “best”.

Probably the best thing about Cards Against Humanity is that it can go on forever.  They have several expansion packs, and even include blank cards that you can use to write your own questions / answers on.  (For a current list of my own ideas for Cards Against Humanity, click here)  Even better, they make their game available for download from their website so you don’t have to spend a penny if you don’t want to!  Well, you’re going to want to print the sheets, and maybe get them put onto cardboard, so that will cost something.  But the game itself is free.  Me, I chose to support them and order mine, but it’s nice to have the option.

So next time you’re sitting around bored on a Saturday night, why not call a few friends over for a game of Cards Against Humanity? Just remember to check any sense of decency or morality at the door because you aren’t going to need it!  Enjoy!

“Weird Al” – Word Crimes

Published July 17, 2014 - 0 Comments

Mandatory Fun“Weird Al” is back with a new (and potentially last, due to contractual completeness) album!  The first release from Mandatory Fun pretty much channels everything from my Grammar Snobs, Unite!  post and makes it sound catchy!  🙂  That’s right… Word Crimes takes last summer’s Blurred Lines and spins it into a parody of how sloppy we’ve become in the age of internet writing…  <- WTF?!?  You can’t end a sentence with THREE periods!  That’s sloppy writing!  Yes.  Yes it is…  And if THAT makes you want to cringe uncontrollably and hide behind your Webster’s Dictionary (what’s that?) then I’d love to watch as you listen to this song for the first time!  Try to pick out a few of the no-nos that you probably do.  I know there are a couple of my little gems in there!

I have to admit though – as clever as the video is, I was really hoping to see Emily Ratajkowski make a cameo appearance… even if clothed.


Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls

Published July 16, 2014 - 0 Comments
Home Away from Home

Home Away from Home

This summer we were exceptionally lucky to have had access to a cabin in beautiful Riley Brook, only a stone’s throw from the Tobique River.  The idea was to pack up the kids, meet up with some friends, and spend a week floating in tubes down the river.  Well maybe not a full week;  I’d probably be found somewhere near Greenland.  But thanks to post-tropical storm Arthur we had to put off the tubing idea as water levels were a little higher than we would have liked.  Oh, and apparently no one rents tubes anymore.  Bummer!

So instead we spent the week hiking in search of waterfalls, jumping on a 6ft inflatable soccer ball, playing cards, and counting bug bites.  (Rachel claimed the win with 82 between both arms).  Yeah, the mosquitos and black fly populations were insane… more than enough to make me question my dream of one day owning my little piece of paradise on a lake somewhere.

Riley Brook is beautiful, but you know that you’re in the middle of nowhere when you have to consider driving driving 30 minutes to Plaster Rock “going into town”.  But if we wanted to go to a grocery store, or a burger place, going into town was what we had to do!  Oh.. and the first waterfall was out there somewhere too.  Maggies Falls.  A beautiful spot on private land that is relatively easy to get to, and well worth the time it takes to get there.

Maggies Falls

Maggies Falls

Maggies FallsThe next day we thought that we’d go in a different direction.  Mount Carleton Provincial Park is the largest provincial park in New Brunswick, which seems rather fitting since Mount Carleton is the highest point in New Brunswick… (817m for those of you wondering) oh wait… it’s also the highest point in the Maritimes!  And it just happened to be a short drive from us!

The park entrance fee is only $8 per vehicle.  The challenging part is that you have to register each and every person in your car.  This can become a wee bit tedious.  Because I have a SUV, Jess and I were shuttling children from 3 different families… some of whom I had only recently met!  Imagine how that must have looked as I said to the women “Umm.. if I say that I have 7 people, do I have to write down all of their names? Because I’m not even sure what some of them are!”  Yeah.. when I got back to the car I told a couple of them “Congratulations.  You’re now Belyeas.”

Williams Falls

Williams Falls

I’m sure that there are probably a few waterfalls at Mount Carleton, but we chose an easy one to get to.  In fact, the guide said Williams Falls was “wheelchair accessible”!  I dunno about you, but that sounds like the kind of “hike” that I’m interested in!  My days of stomping through the woods with a rucksack and compass are way behind me!  Bring on the waterfall!

The only real issue I had with Williams Falls is that it really didn’t allow for you to get right down to the water.  I suppose there’s something to be said about a provincial park not wanting to lose a couple of visitors every summer, but still… Maggies was better.

On the other hand, Mount Carleton had something that Maggies Falls didn’t have… a lake with a beach!  I’m sure that it probably had a name, but it was one of those unexpected finds and I didn’t think to take note of one.  It was just nice to be able to stop somewhere and let the kids play around in the water.  Plus we managed to get just enough of a tease of cell service to receive a couple of texts and emails that had been in the network.  Good times!

Let's just call it Shorbel Lake

Let’s just call it Shorbel Lake

All in all it was a great trip, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I sat down to write at least one more blog post, concentrating on specific things that happened.  It was fun!  I can’t stress enough how lucky we were.. and how very appreciative we still are that we were able to get away because it really didn’t look like we were going to be able to do much of anything this summer.

Oh hey… what’s post without a “hiking through the woods” selfie?

Don't I look all outdoorsy?

Don’t I look all outdoorsy?












And remember… like TLC said…

Don’t go chasing waterfalls,

Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to…

Maggies Falls

Californication Comes to a Merciful End

Published July 2, 2014 - 0 Comments

californication-on-showtime_-watch-recaps-episode-schedules-downloadsYou know how there are shows that seem to go on longer than they should?  They’re once-great shows and then they peak and the quality starts to noticeably fade.  House M.D. went 8 seasons.  Glee is going on its sixth before calling it quits.  What’s Survivor or American Idol up to now?  28 and 13 respectively.  Even The Simpsons have 26 seasons, and they haven’t all been great.

Well, I think that it’s fair to say that you can add Showtime’s Californication to that list.

When Jess first introduced me to Californication, the show was already into its 4th season, I think.  If ever there was a show that I wanted to be part of, it was this one.  Hank Moody was my hero!  We blew through the first seasons on Netflix, and then had to wait patiently like everyone else as the new ones were released.  The problem being… the quality seemed to really take a shit-kicking.  I don’t know if they changed writers, or what happened, but it just kept going from bad to worse.

Season 7 was hailed as the final season of Californication, and rumours started to swirl whether Hank Moody would even survive it.  Surely someone who has lived such a careless lifestyle couldn’t possible end up in a Happily Ever After.  Season 7 should have been a downward spiral as Hank’s life unraveled.  Instead they decided to introduce Hank’s unknown bastard son from 20 years ago.  What a disaster.  It wasn’t funny.  It wasn’t loving.  It was just really really annoying.  Even Heather Graham, as Hank’s old girlfriend, couldn’t salvage that sinking ship.  I normally love most of her work, but the task was too daunting.

To say that the series finale was a disappointment would imply that I actually had high hopes going into it.   Nope.  In the end I continued to watch simply because I had given so much of my life to the story that I felt that anything less than complete closure would grate on my nerves.  It certainly wasn’t from enjoyment.  Sadly, I was right.  But at least its over.  Time to let the healing begin.

It’s not to say that the show wasn’t brilliant at one time.  I just wish that the people in charge had had the courage to realize that and wind down the show while it was still on top… ala Seinfeld (9 seasons) or Breaking Bad (5 seasons)…

Collini out!