Burger King unveiled a 2520 calorie hamburger that contains 4 whopper patties today.  How can you possibly say no to that?  The NY Pizza Burger is topped with pepperoni, mozzarella  cheese, and marinara sauce?  Sign me up!  All I want to know is… where’s the bacon?  Everything is better with bacon!  Although I suspect that they probably have a “deluxe” version planned…  you can add the word “deluxe” to pretty much anything, throw some bacon on it, and charge another $2.  But what’s an extra $2 when the NY Pizza Burger already costs $13 US.  Yeah, this thing is cut into pieces and is meant to share, but sharing’s over-rated.  Better to throw some onion rings and a Coke into the mix, sit back and enjoy life’s finest moments…

I wish that they had a picture of this monster, but I haven’t been able to find one yet.

I do love what bloggers are calling the NY Pizza Burger…  the Fat Bomb.

Shock and awe, people… shock and awe…

I really only have one rule when I go away somewhere new… I do not want to eat at a place that I could eat at if I was home.  No McDonalds, no Tim Hortons, no Swiss Chalet…  nothing like that.  That’s it.  When I went to PEI last summer, we stayed clear of any of that stuff.  It was the same thing with Cape Breton last week.

I’ve never been much of a seafood guy.  I know that it’s generally good for me, and I try to add a little bit of it to my diet when I can, but it’s not nearly enough.  Halibut is pricey, and only in season for a short period of time.  I’ve grown to enjoy salmon, which I can buy year-round, but still don’t tend to eat often.  But being on Cape Breton, I figured that I owed it to myself to try some seafood.  So the first place we went to eat was a nice little spot called Bell Buoy restaurant.

I looked over the menu and decided that I wanted to try something completely different.  Pan fried haddock with garlic mashed potatoes doesn’t sound like my usual choice.  And to make it even more interesting… we’d start with an appetizer.. something completely off the wall… like.. oh.. say..  SNAILS!?  Yes, that’s right..  my first foray into the world of escargot.  Covered with garlic butter and cheese.  Who can’t resist the taste of snail?  I joke, but truth be told… I enjoyed it.  As for the haddock, I enjoyed that as well, but I think that I would have preferred salmon or halibut.  But… the haddock was enough of a success that I’ve since purchased some for my freezer when I’m looking for a change of pace.

The next night the weather was beautiful and we opted to find a patio to sit out on.  The Yellow Cello cafe was the perfect spot.  And it’s fun to say!  Yellow Cello.  Yellow Cello.  Yellow Cello.  I didn’t go quite as exotic this time, preferring something a little closer to home.  Caesar salad and a BBQ chicken pizza.   It was very good, and the atmosphere was great.  We had fun sitting out there in the evening, watching people walk by, and listening to some guy playing music inside the cafe.

One of the interesting things that we noticed on the menus in Cape Breton is that their nachos come with bacon bits!  We never did try any, but I think the next time I’m doing nachos at home, I just might throw some bacon bits on there to see what it takes like.  As we all know… everything tastes better with bacon!  And while their nachos have bacon bits on them, apparently their potato skins do not!  Go figure.  I’ve never seen potato skins like that in my life!  Rather than 3 or 4 large half-potato filled with cheese and salsa or sour cream, I was served a huge plate with small slices of potato, smothered in sour cream and cheddar cheese… it’s the kind of thing that should appeal to me, but I actually did not finish them.  It was just a little much, and I really missed having salsa.

But all in all… I very much enjoyed my meals over there.  The food was great.  The waitresses were adorable.  And the atmosphere was usually very unique.  And not once did I eat at a fast food place!

Scanning through my Twitter feed yesterday, and I noticed something interesting.

Big day for Relish. Just sold the franchise rights for Saint John and Moncton. First location in SJ at old Reggies on Germain St

I have to admit, I’d never heard of Relish until somewhat recently.  The topic came up in May, while chatting with someone from Fredericton.  Had I ever eaten there?  No… I’d never even heard of it before.  Gourmet burgers?  Go on, I’m listening…

I have it on good authority that this is a place that I need to check out.  Sooner, rather than later.  I probably would have taken a drive to Fredericton by now, but things just didn’t work out that way.  Still, I hadn’t forgotten the recommendation, and when I noticed the above-mentioned tweet, I smiled.  The old Reggies location is directly across the street from work, so finding time to stop by shouldn’t be a problem.

Looking at the menu, it’s obvious that this is no ordinary burger chain.  I wish that they had prices for the burgers listed, but I’m guessing that I’m going to need more than my standard $6 or $7 for a burger, fries and pop.  But that’s OK, because I’m looking for something a little better than my usual quarter-pounder combo.

Now if only they’re open at 3am when I’m working night shift!

So…. I’m back on my “Healthy Improvement Plan”… or what I like to call Steve 2.0.  I finally managed to get the treadmill put together recently.  And by “I”, I mean “someone else”.  But I supervised, so that has to count for something!  And surprisingly, I’ve been using it for more than hanging my clothes on… as my poor roomie discovered when he thought the house was falling down, and realized that it was just me galloping along as a steady pace.  Now, I warn him if he’s around.  He thinks it’s so that he knows what the noise is all about.  It’s really so that I have someone to call 911 in the event that my pulse exceeds recommended safety levels.

And what’s a new treadmill without new sneakers to tread with?  I went into Foot Locker a couple of weeks ago, determined not to come out of there empty handed.  My current sneakers were rotting off my feet.  It was time for an upgrade.

There were two employees in the store as I walked in.  Some guy who I barely registered as even being  there… and a pleasant sales girl.

Melissa.

“I need new sneakers”, I explained as I pointed out the lovely holes in the sides of the ones I was wearing.  “Nothing overly fancy… I’m not going to be running (Yeah, as if she hadn’t come to that conclusion on her own).. but I’d like to get back on the treadmill again.”

She took a pair of Nikes off the wall, and told me that they were very popular.  They didn’t look too bad.  Do they come in half sizes?  Yes.  Awesome.  Do they have 10 1/2?  Nope.  I tried on the 10s and 11s, but they weren’t going to work.  I needed the 10 1/2.

Then she handed me a different style.  I didn’t like them as much, but I’m a sucker when it comes to these situations.

“Here, try these…”    She slid a cute little rubber heel thing into the sneaker.  “It’s for additional support”

“Yeah, but will it make me run like a gazelle?”

I stumped her.  She obviously didn’t know if I was serious or not.  She burst out laughing, but she just didn’t know what to say.  Score one for Stephen.

Actually, they didn’t feel too bad.  And anything that was going to take some of the shock out of my treading was probably a good thing.

“I’ll take them!” I told her.

Then she started to up-size my combo…

“You should really spray those with a sneaker spray before you use them.  It will help protect them.. yadda yadda…”  I stopped listening…

“Sounds good.  I’ll take it”

Looking back, it’s a minor miracle that I didn’t leave there with my arms full of sneakers and a burning hole in my wallet.  This girl probably could have sold me anything, but thankfully stopped after the magical sneaker spray. It wasn’t until next day that I realized that I probably didn’t need all this stuff, but hey.. all in the name of healthy lifestyle, right?

And a healthy lifestyle includes more than just a fancy pair of sneakers, and a shiny new treadmill.  I have to start looking at some of the junk that I’m putting in my body.  Yeah, I know.. I’ve talked about this before…   on and off the bandwagon like.. I dunno..  is there anything that fits that sentence?  But I think you get my point.

So yesterday I went to the City Market for lunch.  I was thinking about getting a nice chicken salad sandwich, but I had been told that the Wild Carrot Cafe served awesome sandwich wraps.  It’s not the first time that I’ve heard of the Wild Carrot Cafe, but I hadn’t put much faith in its ability to satisfy my hunger before yesterday.  Its name doesn’t suggest “deep fried”, “trans-fat”, or “chocolate covered” anything.  I wasn’t sure that they would even serve me.

“I’m sorry, sir.  You seem to be mistaken.  McDonalds is in the food court.”

As I stood at the counter and tried to look somewhat less awkward than I felt, I told the girl that I would like to try the chicken ranch wrap.  On whole wheat.  Wait, it gets better.  With light dressing.

“Are those chickpeas?”, I asked… pointing at a container of something.  “I’m told that I’m supposed to try those sometime.. might as well be now!”

When I came back to the office, the guys looked at me funny.  Where’s the standard brown bag with the golden arches prominently displayed?  Where’s the Coke?  Where’s the beef?  (Sorry, had to)

It was good!  I quite enjoyed it, although I will admit.. the chickpeas add a different consistency than I’m used to.

As if that wasn’t enough, I stopped at Sobeys on the way home to pick up a few things.  I bought several pieces of chicken, a European salad blend, a cucumber, and… wait for it… baby spinach.  I’ve never bought spinach in my life, but I’ve seen it thrown into salads, and rumour has it that it’s good for me.

And if you haven’t already stopped reading from disbelief, I skipped the pop and chips aisle completely… which threw off the rest of my shopping trip because I was going up and down aisles in the opposite direction from that point on.  I deviated from my regular path.  I broke free of the chains of habit.

Half a chicken breast cut up with the salad, topped with sun-dried tomato dressing, and a big glass of milk…   and I was full.  I was quite surprised.  The spinach didn’t taste bad at all.  I plan on having the rest tonight when I get home.

Unless my body gives out prior to that from the sudden injection of healthy eating, and a lack of pure junk.

Oh, and if anyone needs any magical sneaker spray…

Yeah, I like to make random titles for some of the blog posts.  It’s counter-SEO, but that’s fine.  Very often they come from songs that I’m listening to as I start typing… in this case it’s an old Metallica song. And oddly enough, the word “Metallica” is in Microsoft Word’s spellchecker, but “blog” is not.  Figure that one out.

I made my quarterly visit to the doctor yesterday.  We had lots to discuss.  I hadn’t seen her since the urologist rammed that camera up where things aren’t supposed to be rammed.

“Interesting experience” and I just left it at that.

“But you survived”, she said.

“Yeah…”

She glanced at the paperwork and reconfirmed what I had already been told.  Everything looks good.   Everyone’s happy.

Then she started to ask me how things are going.  How’s work?  How’s home?  How’re the kids?  How’s the separation?

It doesn’t really change much from one visit to the next.  I’ve developed a bit of a status quo when it comes to answering those questions.  As she was listening to me, she took my blood pressure and then reached for a huge book and started to look through it.

“I’m still listening”, she said when I stopped suddenly.

“Well, I’ve never seen you reach for the Bible while I’m talking to you…”

“Your blood pressure isn’t coming down.  Now, it’s possible that it’s lower when you’re not in here, but it’s also possible that it’s higher when you’re not in here.  And given everything going on in your life, I suspect that there are times when it’s much higher.”

Hard to argue with that… keep going…

She didn’t.  I guess it was my turn to talk.

“I suppose that I haven’t exactly held up my end of the bargain either… and gotten rid of some of the weight…”

“Exactly.  Now I can appreciate that you’re trying… but I think that it’s time to look at other options”

So… after hearing an explanation about the heart muscle, and how I might need it for awhile, we agreed to add a pill to my (somewhat) daily regimen.  And as I sit here, half-heartedly (no pun intended) pushing foreign foods around on my plate, trying to suck the last bit of taste out of a piece of lettuce…  I am reminded that without my health.. nothing else matters?  Ohh.. see how I brought that around full-circle?  Didn’t even see that one coming!

Now how am I gonna work Shania Twain’s Man! I Feel Like a Woman into my next post?  Damn luck of the draw that it came up on the playlist just now…

Going back to my rabbit food now…

I had the misfortune of having to go to the mall the other day.  I tend to avoid that place, even at the best of times.  Over the years I’ve seen many of my favourite stores close, and be replaced by clothing outlets targeting a certain demographic that I simply do not belong to.

But this particular night I was on a mission, and apparently that meant having to go to the mall. 

While I was there, I decided that I needed to get something to eat.  I’d been at work all day, and really hadn’t had much throughout the day.  I looked at the options available to me in the food court.  There weren’t many.  I opted for the shortest line.  Three teenage punks crowded around the counter, yapping with their 2 friends on the other side of that counter.  As I suspected, they weren’t actually ordering anything, and stepped aside as I approached.

“We don’t have a cashier right now, but if you tell me what you want, I’ll start your order” one of the young guys said to me.  Umm… ok.. I’m not sure what that means exactly, but I told him what I wanted… chubby chicken burger combo…

Then I stood there with my bank card in my hand, while the young punks started gabbing again.  It didn’t take too long for my food to finish.  I watched one of them package it up and set it on the tray…  But he couldn’t give it to me, because I hadn’t paid for it yet. 

Then other people started to line up behind me.  The couple of guys behind the counter panicked.

“Our cashier isn’t here.  She went for a smoke…”

What?

That was enough for everyone else behind me.  They left.  I stood there and looked at my food… so close, yet so far…  the two guys behind the counter actually left and went back out of view, probably because they couldn’t stand there looking at me, looking at my food. 

That was it.  I’d had enough.  I should have jumped over the counter, grabbed my food, and sat down.  That would have showed them!  Of course, I probably would have just thrown out my back or something trying to get over that counter.  (Yeah, I know that there’s a little swinging door)

So I left.  I’m a pretty patient guy, but there are limits to my patience, and watching my food get cold while some girl is out having a cigarette, and no one else is able to run the cash register…  that’s too much, even for me.

I contemplated calling the next day and asking to speak to someone older than 16, but I couldn’t be bothered at this point.

It’s not easy coming up with a fast food offering that I won’t finish.  Congratulations to Pizza Hut for doing just that!  I have no idea what’s in the sauce for their new WingStreet wings, but it’s pretty gross.  You know that it’s not a good sign when two guys buy 20 wings, and eat 5 of them (I only had one!) before pushing them aside.  If it hadn’t been a take-out order, I seriously think that I would have sent them back and asked for a different flavour.  The medium buffalo wings are not hot in a spicy sense at all, and taste more like vinegar than anything else.  I could feel it burning through my sinuses, and make my eyes water, yet they didn’t taste hot.  It’s weird. Although, I will admit, they look fantastic in the TV ad.

Seriously, save your money and avoid these.  I suppose that it’s possible that we had a bad batch, but I’m not willing to spend any more money on these to find out. 

Yuck!

Well it had to happen sooner or later.  I’ve been watching the A&W ads on TV for their new sirloin ‘Uncle’ burger for awhile now, but A&W isn’t some place that I frequent often.  I tend to find their burgers extremely salty, and apparently salt is now my enemy.  But today was a special day.  I needed to get out of the office and go for a walk, and I found myself standing in front of the A&W admiring the large poster.  It looked so good.  I could almost hear it beckoning my name. 

$9.25 cents later, I was walking away with an Uncle Burger combo, which included my fries and (surprise!) a root beer. 

Oh it’s big, alright.  It’s big, it’s messy, it’s salty, and it probably took a few days off my life.  But they’re the ones at the end…  According to A&W’s nutritional information, the burger alone was worth 710 calories, which is probably a little less than some of the other tasty treats that I’ve consumed from McDonalds or Burger King.  The 1490mg of salt isn’t a huge surprise.  I’ll be drinking water for the rest of the afternoon, I think.  It’s kinda gross.  (the salt taste, not the water)

The other guys watched me eat it.  “Was it worth it?” one of them asked.  No.. probably not.  It wasn’t horrible, but it isn’t something that I would want to repeat any time soon.

I am curious about those tiny little baby sirloin burgers that they sell, but I just don’t think that they would fill me.

Maybe next time.